Chapter 01: Rude Awakening

I was 50 years old and he was 37.  The age difference didn’t matter to me anymore nor did it to him.  I mean why should it?  Older men date younger women all the time, why was it such a taboo for it to be flipped.

I didn’t start looking for love for gods sake I was married but I was lonely and I felt like a door mat from my soon to be ex-husband, he said he loved me but he never showed it.  You can tell a person you love them but you have to mean it with your whole heart and I knew he didn’t, since most of the time that I Love You was issued by a text message.  A quick peck on the cheek, a quickie in bed and occasional grope of my ass or boob was not love; it was friends with benefits or more likely a roommate with benefits.

 I slowly but surely fell out of love with him.

 We have been married 25 years but that didn’t matter anymore.  I needed to start doing stuff for me; no one else was going to do it.

Preston was good to me at the beginning but we slowly drifted apart.  We had been together since high school but we waited to get married since neither of us wanted to rush things, that was an odd concept in our hometown but we stuck by our guns.  Preston was the only lover I ever had and at the time I thought it was out of this world but the more I found out the more I knew that my knowledge was skewed.  However, I stayed true because I believed in my marriage vows and stuck with them.

But I began to realize I was wrong about many things.

Our children noticed it all the time and would make comments to me about it.  Pam was the loudest of the three, the boys Jason and Corbett made tactical comments when they knew their dad wasn’t listening. But the older they got the louder they became; I can only figure Preston just ignored everything that came out of all of our mouths.

His life was waking up at the butt crack of dawn to go to work and when he came home he was on his android phone or lap top, only lifting his head when his show(s) came on.  He would spend many a nights like that and I just couldn’t do it anymore.

So I started doing things for me.

 I got my hair colored, yes I was blonde but I could see the grays and I needed them to leave.

 I got my teeth whitened; I was told I had a pretty smile and needed to show it more often…. I went to the doctor to see about weight loss and what to do about my varicose veins.

I worked hard at my job every day and decided I needed another outlet then reading and taking care of my family.  When I spoke with Dr Brigant, he told me I didn’t need a full on weight loss program just a little bit of exercise.  I wasn’t horribly overweight but it was noticeable to me.

When I mentioned to Preston what I wanted to do, he said why fix something that ain’t broke.  I figure he thought if I was losing weight it was for someone other than me.

Well he was right and wrong.

I knew if my marriage did end, like I could see it doing and soon, then I needed to look decent enough to have someone notice me.  It’s not like I needed to have a man in my life to be happy but it would be nice to have the companionship that my marriage was lacking.  My step-brother Claude had went through a mid life crisis so I knew this was not that.  I didn’t go and buy a new model wife; she was only twenty two, a new sports car that cost more than what he made in two years.  Nor did I ignore my children.

 No I wasn’t going through a mid life crisis but I knew I needed a LIFE change.

I needed to feel good about myself again and I knew the only way that was going to happen was for me to make it happen.  I also knew I needed to be around for my children for a very long time so that I could take care of them and then my grandbabies when they arrived.

I worked long hours at Edgington Designs in Shreveport and I was good at what I did.  I was the bread winner of the family; I didn’t care that Preston wasn’t, as long as he was happy with his job and enjoyed it, he could be a janitor for all I cared, and he enjoyed working at the lumber yard.  I went to school to be an architect and I graduated as one but was hired at ED to be an architect for redesigns and remodels, I wasn’t interested in new homes or buildings it just wasn’t interesting to me.  Making someone happy with what they wanted as a dream was what tickled my fancy.

I owned my own home, granted it was a hand me down but it was paid for.  It was about 15 years ago when Gran died and I inherited the family farmhouse and outlying property; all in all there were about 50 acres of wooded lands all around the house.

 Preston was always pissed I did not add his name to the deed but I figured it was left to me and not him. I would leave it to my kids once I passed away so that it would stay in the family and not be sold off.  Preston tried to get me to sell the outlying property but I wouldn’t.

 It caused many fights but I held my ground.

As I started getting things together to make myself feel better I took my step-sister Claudine’s advice and was going to join a gym, there wasn’t one in our small town so I had to look for one near work.  So after work each night for a week I traveled to the gym’s close to Edgington Design.  Well let me tell you they were meat markets and I knew I would not feel comfortable there.

I had to look a little harder but I found the perfect one about a week and a half later.  It was in North Shreveport but it met my criteria and I felt comfortable there.  Plus there was an added perk when I walked in, I knew two of the personal trainers.  I hadn’t seen Alcide Herveaux since high school but he looked great and his father, Jackson, looked even better.

I thought they were both police officers but Alcide told me that after he got hurt on the job by a gunshot wound  it was time to hang up his uniform and retire from being a Shreveport Detective; he wanted to be there for Maria and the kids.  His dad had retired years prior and he liked being a personal trainer because it kept him in shape and it paid the bills.

Now let me tell you if older men were a thing for me Jackson would float my boat, he was in his seventies but he looks maybe fifty five and he had a body and personality that would rock any woman’s world.  He was a flirt but I knew he was harmless; his wife Sabrina had died years earlier from cancer but he liked being single with no romantic ties, the only ties he wanted was his kids and grandkids.

On the other hand, Alcide was my type and my age but he had been married longer than me to his high school sweetheart and he was still deeply in love with her.  I was very proud of him; he was able to stay in love with the single most important person in his world.

 I wish I could say the same.

Well I signed up with the gym the following week with the owner, John Quinn; let me tell you this guy looked like Mr. Clean with purple pansy colored eyes and an attitude to kill any woman with a brain.  He liked them dumb and blonde.

He tried to pick me up even though I was married and when he found out what my career of choice was I was toooooooo smart for him.  So I was able to stay under his radar.

It was a good thing too because he kind of creeped me out.

I was at the gym a few weeks before I decided to ask Jackson to train me.  He was happy to do it for me.  He said that we just needed to tone up my body in a few places and maintain my weight.  Well let me tell you my idea of tone and his idea of tone are two different things.  But I knew he would keep me in shape and motivated to stay healthy.

It was odd I had never met the Head trainer while I was at the gym; Alc and Jack said he worked mainly during the day and was away on vacation but they were going to change up the hours that all the trainers worked so I would meet him in two weeks time when he got back from Sweden.

TE next

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