Chapter 04: North Shreveport

Well by the time Preston woke himself up off of the porch floor it was morning, he came into our room and pretty much forced himself on me.  He was claiming me.  I didn’t fight him this time.  I just wanted it to end.  I knew after that our marriage was over.  Even if you are happy or unhappy you do not force yourself on your spouse.  Even if you are having problems that was not the route to go; I didn’t call it rape because it was over quicker that you could blink but I guess looking back on it that is exactly what it was.

He pretty much left us alone that day as per usual.  We followed our Sunday routine and it came time for me to leave.  That’s when Preston decided he was going to voice his opinion again.  He told me I was a BITCH to leave him and the kids.  I was his woman and their mother and my place was at home.  I was never a stay at home mom so that statement was out of left field.   He told me that if I left not to come back.

I just looked at him and glared; and I told him that this was MY house and I will come back every weekend just like we had discussed and if he DID ANYTHING to damage my home or hurt MY children he would pay dearly.

He told me I was bluffing.

It was Jason who called Andy this time.  Jason and Corbett decided that they were not going to let Preston hurt me physically or verbally ever again.

Andy strode into the house and told Preston that he needed to back down or be taken in for domestic abuse.    It was just then that I noticed Halleigh was there too.   Andy and she were spending the night because they didn’t trust Preston on the first night of me being gone and if they needed to be there more days and nights that was what was going to happen.   They were not going to give Preston the upper hand.

I started crying and Pam stepped forward to hug me, she was shushing me and rubbing my back.  The kids told Andy and Halleigh they could have Pam’s room and she would bunk with her brothers.  They figured they would be safer together.

Needless to say Preston was pissed.

 I decided that was my cue to leave.   I told the kids I would call them when I made it to the apartment.    It was a long hour drive and I had a lot to think about.  I listened to the radio and all they were playing was sad songs so I plugged in my IPOD, well the first song to cue up was also a sad song and one I could relate to.

Someone for Me’ by Travis Tritt, it was an old song but it made my heart ache.  I wanted true love and a soul mate so desperately and I figured I ruined any chance with Eric but could I get by the age difference and he never answered any of my questions.    I threw the thought of him to the back of my mind.  I needed to focus, but for some reason the song played a second time and I kept hearing the words over and over again.

As I walk down this road, the rain is just starting to fall

How in the world did I let myself get so alone?

 I can’t tell any difference between my tears and the rain falling down

I knew how I was alone, I left my kids to make myself happy, but was I happy, that would have to be thought about long and hard.  I knew it was the right thing to do but what would happen day after day when I was by myself.   I knew in my heart it would all work out and I could always call the kids and there was always the weekend to look forward to.  Plus I could nonchalantly look at Eric in the gym as if I was allowed to do it and lock his beautiful body in the memories of my mind for when I needed a moral boost.

  But then the next words of the song haunted me.

 It’s hell when your heart is in need of someone on its own

I need someone with a heart just like mine

 And someone who’s trying to find true love

Everywhere that I go I see people in love, the way that I wanted to be Tell me, when will I have a love of my own?

Will there ever be someone for me?

Dammit, I didn’t know if I could make this work… I wanted true love so badly but my heart aches for what I was doing.  I needed to talk to someone and I knew it could not be Pammy; she needed to stay out of this because I knew what she and the boys would say, ‘Give Eric a chance!’ I knew if I called Alc or Jack they would say the same thing.  I guess I needed to talk to the man haunting my head but would he talk to me.

Then the rest of the song played out in my head and I wondered if I needed to talk to him.

As I sit with the rain comin’ down all the memories surround me

 Pieces of past loves and fast times keep haunting my mind

 If I just had somebody to erase all the memories

 Of yesterday’s loves gone wrong

 Oh, God, please have mercy, it’s true love I’m lookin’ to find

From someone with a heart just like mine

And someone who’s tryin’ to find true love

 Everywhere that I go I see people in love, the way that I wanted to be

 Tell me, when will I have a love of my own?

 Will there ever be someone for me?

 Tell me, when will I have a love of my own?

Will there ever be someone for me?

Could I be brave enough to do this on my own.  I guess the only way to find out was to take it one day at a time.

I reached the apartment complex and there was a truck in my carport.  I didn’t think much of it, I would hunt down the person tomorrow and let them know that I moved in and I would be parking there since I lived there. If that didn’t work I would speak to Liam.

I collected the small cooler of food from the back seat and headed to my door but was shocked at who was there.

It was Eric.

He looked like he had been there a while because he had fallen asleep in a lawn chair.

To say I was shocked, nervous and elated was an understatement.  

I didn’t know if I should wake him up or leave him be.

 I chose to wake him up.

I sat the cooler down and went and squatted down beside him, I brushed my hand against his cheek.  All he did was lean into my hand and whispered something but I couldn’t hear it.  

I whispered to him to wake up but I used a pet name ‘Baby’ instead of Eric.  What was I thinking? 

He mumbled again but I heard it loud and clear, “Sookie, five more minutes and then I promise I will get up.”  

I didn’t know what to do or think.  How did he know it was me and was he dreaming about me? 

So I got up, unlocked the door, took the cooler inside, put the food away and set the thermostat to a nice temperature to cool off the room, texted the kids real quick that I made it and would give them a call in a little while after I settled in and then went back outside to try again.

I squatted again but a little closer, my knees were touching his and I touched his face again.  “Eric please wake up, I need you to get up and come inside.”   UMPH…

I was not expecting to be pulled into his lap, but I was.  He held me tight and told me to be still we could get up in five minutes and talk.

I was getting suspicious that he might actually be awake and playing possum.

 I stroked his cheek again and played along.  “Baby we need to head inside what will the neighbors think if we sat outside all night cuddling. Come on sweetie get up and cum inside.” 

Yeah it was laced with innuendo and such; I wanted to see if he would take the bait.

It didn’t work; he just held me tight and purred in my ear.  Damn his lap felt good, it was comfortable and warm, damn I was so screwed, what was I going to do?

 I couldn’t let this go any further, I was married.  Yeah maybe I had decided to get going on my divorce this morning but I couldn’t lead Eric on.  I didn’t want him as a rebound he deserved more than that. Plus I needed to find out what it would take to get a divorce and I didn’t want to mess up a non-contested divorce by getting involved with someone now.

So I sat there for about 15 minutes just reveling in his warmth and tight hug.  I ended up curling into him and resting my head on his shoulder, damn he smelt good. I must have dosed off because the next thing I knew Eric was rubbing my back and whispering my name to wake me up.

Well that was an odd turn of events.  Eric was smiling down on me and I leaned up and kissed his cheek. 

I asked him to come inside so we could talk.

In one swoop he got up from the chair with me in his arms and headed through the door and shut it with his foot.  You would think we were newlyweds the way he walked in with me in his arms.  He didn’t take me into the living room but into my bedroom and lie me down on the bed.

This was going to backfire and I knew it. 

But all I could feel was the warmth spreading through me.  Through my heart, through my head and through the wet panties I was now wearing.

This was wrong on so many levels but I couldn’t stop and I wasn’t going to make him stop.  I needed this.  I needed someone to make love to me I needed carnal sex and I needed it now.  

And then the songs words came back to me:

It’s hell when your heart is in need of someone on its own

I need someone with a heart just like mine

 And someone who’s trying to find true love

He was here and now and I wanted him as much as he wanted me.

Tonight I was giving myself a HALL PASS and be damned about my failed marriage.

Eric took his time with me.

He knew I was having second thoughts but he didn’t want me to dwell on them.   His only words to me were, “let me make you blissfully happy if only for tonight.”

I just looked into his blue eyes and nodded yes.  I was going to do this; I was going to have one night of happiness.  I was going through with my Hall pass.

The words were haunting me even now.

Tell me, when will I have a love of my own?

 Will there ever be someone for me?

At least for tonight I was going to have a love of my own and someone just for me.

Let me tell you Eric took his time.

He undressed me slowly and called me beautiful. 

He said I looked younger than my age and my body was proof of that even if I had my battle scars from three babies they were as much a part of me as the hair on my head.  He loved my body, the soft feel of my skin, the little scars I had from stitches and just growing up in the woods.  

He moved his hand slowly over my body and explored ever inch. He told me my D cups were perfect and the best he had ever seen.

I was in heaven.

But the thought kept coming back to me that I was married and I shouldn’t be doing this.  But the other thought I kept having was enjoy your night tonight for once in your life, tomorrow you start a new chapter.

So I put away my fears and just laid there and enjoy his ministrations to my body.  He was very gentle and sweet, nothing like what I went through that morning.  As I look back on it yeah Preston did rape me but I would take that knowledge to my grave no one needed to know it but me.  I was embarrassed I should have fought him off.

I needed to stop thinking about this before I started crying and have Eric think he was doing something wrong.

It was then that I realized Eric was speaking to me. 

“Sookie, are you okay?   Did I hurt you?  Look at me please.”

I smiled at him and told him no he wasn’t hurting me he was doing everything right and these were happy tears.

He smiled at me and asked me if it was okay for him to take his clothes off.

I asked him if I could watch. 

He just smiled and said he would be honored.

I leaned up on my elbows and watch this magnificent creature take his shoes and socks off, slowly, and then he slowly worked his shirt up his chiseled chest and over his head.  OMG, what a torso, he had an 8 pack not a 6 pack.  And the V leading to heaven, yum.  All I could do was sigh.   What on earth did this gorgeous man see in me?  I felt honored for his attention if only for tonight.

When he got to his shorts, he slowly and I mean slowly pulled them down with his butt facing me and what a phenomenal butt it was.  However nothing prepared me for when he turned around.  He was huge and thick and OMG how the hell was that gonna fit into me.

He just smiled at me and said it will fit and he will make sure he doesn’t hurt me, he will prepare me and take his time, and we have all night.

Then it dawned on me he never asked about birth control, yeah I had an IUD but he never asked. I had gotten one put in when I realized Preston wanted me pregnant all the time.  I had a career and he was trying to get me to stay home, wasn’t happening.

As he crawled up my legs with the look of a predator and me his prey, I asked him what we were going to use.  Since I was married I didn’t need anything with my husband but with him I didn’t know where he had been and with whom.

He smiled at me and pointed towards the night stand, there was a sleeve on magnums lying there, when the hell did he put them there. 

I smiled at him and asked him, “So you thought you were getting lucky tonight?”

“No Sookie, you told me that you wanted me to make love to you and christen this new bed, so here I am.”

OHH, I forgot about that. I knew my face was turning red, I forgot I told him.

I smiled at him and said, “Good thing you came prepared but I have an IUD and if you are clean we can go unprotected for the night in case we forget ourselves.” 

He looked a little shocked by what I said but I was even more shocked that I said it.  I really didn’t know him and I shouldn’t have unprotected sex with him but for once I felt safe and I trusted him. .  

He just smiled at me and told me he hadn’t ever had unprotected sex and he would be honored if I was his first.  That he was clean and hadn’t been with anyone in months.

I thought to myself how can this man have been unattached.  He was a catch and anyone could see that unless they wore blinders.

What was I getting myself into tonight?  I knew it could only be tonight, I could not let it go any further and I was going to have to make that clear to him before we took one more step further.

“Eric, I need to make something clear to you before we go any farther.”  I got an uh huh from him but his mouth was attached to my nipple.  “Eric, please I need to talk to you first.”

He released my nipple with a pop and it felt lonely.  Damn I needed to get my head into the game.

“Eric, please look at me.”   He raised his head and smiled.

I ran my hand across his cheek.   I was so nervous and afraid he would walk out before we got started again but I had to get this out.

“Eric, I know you know I have issues and baggage.  I cannot start anything with you after tonight until I am properly on my way to getting a divorce. And I won’t blame you for moving on and finding someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”  

He nodded Yes.

“I know enough to know that it will take a year after I file for the divorce for it to go through, I know I want him not to contest the divorce.  I know that I cannot be romantically involved with anyone because he would use it against me.”

Another nod of Yes.

“I don’t know what you find so fascinating about me, why you are drawn to me and why on earth you would want someone older than you.  I feel drawn to you too and after the spark yesterday I am unsure I could have a relationship with anyone but you but for now I cannot give Preston ammunition on me.  I don’t want him dragging you through the mud.  I need you to understand we can only be acquaintances because I don’t think I could be your friend, not yet, not after what I think is going to happen tonight.  I couldn’t bear to be near you but so far away.  Do you understand?  Say you understand. I want you to know I was so jealous yesterday at the Italian restaurant I hated you flirting with other woman and then you wouldn’t talk to me. Or look me in the eye.  I know I am sending mixed signals but you are confusing the hell out of me. Please tell me you can follow what I am trying to say.”

He looked at me for a minute and kissed his way up my chest, to my collarbone, to a sweet spot below my ear where he nuzzled and blew warm air against my skin.  He finally moved onto my cheek and then he took my face in both of his hands and lightly kissed my lips.  

It was magical and I was getting lost in the tenderness… I had craved this for so long and here was a man I really didn’t know doing exactly what I needed my husband to do.

Where had this man been all my life?

He narrowed his eyes and chuckled, “Sookie, YOU are an attractive woman!  It doesn’t matter to me what your age is or the difference in years between us. I am attracted to you as any man would be and I am sure there are more that are not only attracted to your beauty but to your heart and loyalty as well.   Yes loyalty, you stayed with your husband far longer than you should have because you were loyal to your vows. I don’t care about your baggage, your EX is an ass and I can get by on the fact he does not intimidate nor scare me.  I love your kids after only knowing them for a day.  Any fool would ruin their chances if they were to come between you, Pam, Jason and Corbett.  I am not nor will I try to come between you.  I can only wish that one day by the grace of God I will be able to have a child that I care so much about.  Am I saying I think we would make a great couple, YES?  Am I saying I would Like for it to happen, YES.  Am I saying I will wait for you to let me know when you are ready, YES?  Am I saying I will wait for however long it takes, YES?  I will wait by on the sidelines until you call me in.  I have been watching you at the gym for weeks, I wasn’t stalking you but I knew you were there and I would watch.  Alcide and Jack have told me what they could and I was smitten from the start.  Age doesn’t matter to me; it is only 13 years, which is not a whole lot.   Now for our one night together I want to make this special for you and if you will let me I will make it last for as long as you allow. I am not thinking of this as an affair, this is our first night of many; we will just have to wait for the rest. But let me tell you now that after tonight it will break my heart if you stay with Preston or don’t give me a chance when you are ready.  I won’t push it but I will be watching.  I have fallen for you Sookie and I know with a little more time I could easily tell you I Love You.  As for friendship, I will back off and not push it but I will continue my friendship with your kids if you will allow it.   I think if I get to know them without your influence they will like me better if and when we can become a couple.   And before you ask, I will be careful around Preston, I will not start anything but I WILL NOT let him abuse you or your children.   As for me wanting kids because I am sure you caught that earlier, do I want kids, YES, but if it never happens I will not be devastated by it.  If WE were to decide as a couple to try and it happened I would be ecstatic but I wouldn’t push it.  I know you are older and it’s a decision we would both have to make and decide as a team… I would never push it.  If we were to become a couple, I would love your kids with all my heart and try to be a great step-father to them. And last not but least, the flirting.  I am sorry it hurt you.  I didn’t know it would bother you and since you were not talking to me I figured you wouldn’t care but while I am on that subject.  Why did you not ride in the truck with me after we stopped at ED?”

Okay in for a penny if not for the pound…. “I thought you were placating me at Applebee’s.  Then the age difference was getting to me  and then me being married… then my kids telling me they approved of you…then Jack telling me to go for it and that you would be good for me…. all of it added up to my confusion.  By that time I was unsure of myself and a much younger man….  But the hardest part for me was the Italian restaurant debacle and it added to my heart being shattered by someone I just met.  I could not do that to me or to you.  It wasn’t until Alc pulled me outside that I found out your true age and there wasn’t as big a gap as I thought.  But that doesn’t mean I could trust you with my heart.  Then the kiss at my house in the bathroom and you walking away (sniffle sniffle) I thought you were gone from my life for good and I was lucky to have you for a day.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and I was bawling my eyes out.

 He gathered me in his arms and shushed me, stroked my face and wiped my tears away and said, “give me a chance to prove you wrong… give me a chance to be that man you want so desperately… wait for me please… don’t push me aside any more than you have to…. I wasn’t placating you; I was enjoying myself and being close to you… I felt things I have never felt before after that lightning bolt between us and I am sure you are meant to be MINE in every way and I will wait for as long as it takes.”

I looked up at this beautiful man who was holding me and smiled.   I had truly found that someone for me.

The words that escaped my lips were truthful and they excited me to my very core.

“Make Love to Me, please.”

“As you Wish.”

Eric began kissing me again and caressing my body with his hands.  It did not take him long to get us back on track and to the heat we had been experiencing before.  His gentle touch got me to climax while only using his hands.  He then moved on to bringing me to a new climax by using his fingers and tongue.  I didn’t realize he was getting me ready for his size, his gracious plenty, but that is what he was doing.  He had so much control over his actions, it was amazing. Not once did he try to take me too early or before I was ready.  

I was enjoying this far more than I thought I would. 

Was that bad of me.

Hell I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted this man to make love to me with his cock and I was going to let him know I was ready.

“Eric, please baby I need you now, make love to me with the gracious plenty I know you have.  Make me feel alive and wanted.   Make me love you just for now.”

Eric crawled up my stomach inch by inch and kissed me as he went, when he reached my lips he licked them and then nibbled just a little bit.  It tickled and I open up my mouth to him.  He kissed me and I lost track of everything.  By the time I realized what he was doing my legs were spread open more and he was entering me.  He didn’t stop kissing me for even a minute.  I thought I was going to pass out but I realized he was distracting me from his size as he entered me.

It worked, I felt him and it felt wonderful.  He filled me completely and when he was totally sheathed he stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes.

“BEAUTIFUL”……His words made me all tingly inside.

He looked at me and asked if I was ready, all I could do was nod yes.

For the next hour he proceeded to rock my world.  He took his time entering me and pulling out.

It felt awesome not to be jack hammered.

He rocked his hips to hit every spot inside me.  He hit my cervix numerous times and it was glorious. 

As the hour mark was nearing I could tell he was losing control and I urged him to go faster. 

Faster was good, faster brought me to the edge and had me falling over it.  I felt like I was falling over a cliff and I would never survive.  And that’s when I felt it; he was falling over the edge with me; it was nice to be falling over together and not having to wait to finish myself off with my toys.  I could feel his seed filling me up deep inside and I was in heaven. 

I don’t ever remember feeling like this with Preston… He never made me feel like this. 

I looked up at Eric and thanked him. 

 He looked down at me and said, “This is only the beginning.”

I smiled at him and he was cuddled to my side.   I told him we should get cleaned up.  He said why bother we will be getting to it again shortly he only needed a couple of minutes to recoup. 

Well let me tell you I never knew a man could recoup that quickly.

Where had this man been hiding?

In a matter of five minutes we were at it again, this time it was at a much faster pace but just as heavenly.  It continued like this for the rest of the night.  I finally told him we had to stop when it was nearing 3am because I had to get up in the morning.  He agreed and we got ourselves cleaned up in my shower.

Of course the shower was used again to get us dirty but we eventually got clean and lay in bed together.

I never cuddled with Preston, he didn’t like to and he said it was unmanly.  Well let me tell you Eric is a cuddler and a damn good one.  My body fit into his curve perfectly and it was the best 3 hours of sleep I ever gotten.

When we woke at my alarm I told him I had to get up and he just smiled.  I told him to stay put in bed and just lock the door and let himself out when he needed to get up and leave.

I left for work with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.

I knew the reality was that could never happen again; at least not for the next year. 

But I could deal with that as long as he kept his distance.

TE backTE next

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